stabby rip stab stab

the lists went up today and it's no cantori for rose. i spent an hour this morning in hysterics at the thought of not being in it and if lot and jot hadn't been there i might have indulged again. the worst part is that it was only the first cut. those lists were of girls who were being reauditioned for voice blending purposes. year nines were on that list and i wasn't. even liz, who sung the worst solo song humanly possible was on there. i was so happy with every aspect of that audition apart from a tiny handsign fuck up in the stupid mendelsohn and running our of breath slightly in the first one. and miss c asking me if i was scared. maybe she didn't want someone who was scared. the other worst part is that i have been trained as a singer for four years only to have piffling instrumentalists beat me. not to mention spending an entire year expecting to get in. and having to face crackies smug condescending "sympathy". mind you, he probably won't acknowledge it in the slightest. well, i'm going to do some practise. i'll show you all.